On a day when Americans came together to celebrate the gloriousness that is the USA, we found another reason to cheer; American Joey Chestnut won Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, unseating six-time defending champion (and Japanese native) Takeru Kobayashi...

USA..USA..USA..

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Gasoline prices have soared to levels never seen before as even the inflation-adjusted price for a gallon of unleaded topped the 1981 record spike in price that had stood for 26 years...

In a grim sign of the times, the "Wall of the Fallen," set up by House Republican leaders in June, is almost full. The mounting death toll from Iraq has forced U.S. House staffers to study how to reconfigure the display in the lobby of the Rayburn Building - the largest office building for members of Congress - to squeeze in more names.

Rep. Vernon Ehlers, the Michigan Republican who chaired the committee last summer, said members and staffers "simply wanted to do something to honor those who had made this sacrifice." When he walked by the wall recently, Ehlers said he realized: "Boy, we could have a problem. More space is needed."

"MORE SPACE IS NEEDED"!?!?!? Are you fuckin' kidding me? I guess the idea of changing the situation so as to NOT CREATE MORE DEAD SOLDIERS never crossed this asshole's mind.

Did the most powerful Republicans in America have the computer capacity, software skills and electronic infrastructure in place on Election Night 2004 to tamper with the Ohio results to ensure George W. Bush's re-election? The answer appears to be yes...

I always hoped, in my heart of hearts, that Americans couldn't be stupid enough to re-elect that idiot.

Heather Mills, the estranged wife of Paul McCartney, fell on Monday night's Dancing with the Stars on ABC at the end of her samba routine. She tried to balance on her left leg, which she lost below the knee.

For three years after the invasion of Iraq, it was difficult to drive more than a few miles through middle America without seeing a car displaying a magnetic yellow ribbon. The magnets, bearing the slogan “Support Our Troops”, became a symbol of patriotism for millions of US motorists. But as support for the war fades, demand for yellow ribbons has collapsed...

Washington, DC — Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees. Despite promising a prompt review of its approval for a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah's flood rather than by geologic forces, more than three years later no review has ever been done and the book remains on sale at the park, according to documents released today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER).

“In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology,” stated PEER Executive Director Jeff Ruch. “It is disconcerting that the official position of a national park as to the geologic age of the Grand Canyon is ‘no comment.’”...

Noah's flood???? I always thought the Grand Canyon was dug out by Paul Bunyan and Babe!!

HONOLULU (Reuters) - A Honolulu police officer died on Sunday from injuries suffered when his motorcycle crashed while escorting President George W. Bush during his Hawaii visit last week.

A story today in the English tabloid The Sun reported an appeal to departing Secretary-General Kofi Annan by the Jedi worshippers for official recognition of their religion. The Sun reported that 390,000 people listed "Jedi" as their faith on the 2001 UK Census. The Sun added that the Jedi believers wanted today's UN International Day of Tolerance changed to an "Interstellar Day of Tolerance."

But today in New York, the spokesman for the Secretary-General of the United Nations said that Mr. Annan would not make any such move. "The UN is not in the business of certifying religions," said Mr. Annan's spokesman, Stephane Dujarric...

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Saddam Hussein was convicted and sentenced Sunday to hang for crimes against humanity in the 1982 killings of 148 people in a single Shiite town, as the ousted leader, trembling and defiant, shouted "God is great!"

I feel safer already...

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 15 through October 21, 2006, as National Character Counts Week. I call upon public officials, educators, librarians, parents, students, and all Americans to observe this week with appropriate ceremonies, activities, and programs.

RENO, Nev. (AP) - Gambling, prostitution, and now pot? Organizers of a Nevada ballot measure hope voters in a state where almost everything goes will go one better and legalize marijuana.

If it passes Nov. 7, Nevada will be the first state to allow adults to possess up to an ounce of pot that they could buy at government-regulated marijuana shops.

The Committee to Regulate and Control Marijuana, which has pushed medical marijuana and decriminalization laws around the country, thinks Nevada - with its embrace of certain vices and its streak of Western independence - is a perfect venue...

At the end of a three-and-a-half hour show, on the last night of music at the New York club CBGB, Patti Smith read a list of the fallen, just a few of the musicians and spirits who were so important to the room's legend but couldn't be there for the October 15th wake. They included the Cramps' Bryan Gregory, the critic Lester Bangs, singer Helen Wheels, guitarist Robert Quine, Johnny, Joey and Dee Dee Ramone and Smith's original pianist Richard Sohl...

Despite their packed megachurches, their political clout and their increasing visibility on the national stage, evangelical Christian leaders are warning one another that their teenagers are abandoning the faith in droves. Skip to next paragraph Enlarge This Image Erik Jacobs for The New York Times

John Cooper of the Christian rock band Skillet at last month’s Acquire the Fire event in Massachusetts for evangelical teenagers.

At an unusual series of leadership meetings in 44 cities this fall, more than 6,000 pastors are hearing dire forecasts from some of the biggest names in the conservative evangelical movement.

Their alarm has been stoked by a highly suspect claim that if current trends continue, only 4 percent of teenagers will be “Bible-believing Christians” as adults. That would be a sharp decline compared with 35 percent of the current generation of baby boomers, and before that, 65 percent of the World War II generation...

WASHINGTON - The military’s top generals have warned Iraq is on the cusp of a civil war and that U.S. troops must remain in large numbers until at least next spring. But if the winds suddenly blow a different direction, Congress is ready to celebrate with a $20 million victory party.

Lawmakers included language in this year’s defense spending bill, approved last week, allowing them to spend the money. The funds for “commemoration of success” in Iraq and Afghanistan were originally tucked into last year’s defense measure, but went unspent amid an uptick in violence in both countries that forced the Pentagon to extend tours of duty for thousands of troops.

Support the troops indeed.

“Five years after 9/11, the worst attack on the American homeland in our history, the Democrats offer nothing but criticism and obstruction and endless second-guessing,” Mr. Bush said at a fund-raising event for Gov. Bob Riley. “The party of F.D.R. and the party of Harry Truman has become the party of cut and run.”- GWB

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Senate on Thursday gave final approval to a bill for tough interrogations and prosecutions of terrorism suspects, as President George W. Bush prevailed after a series of setbacks on his detainee policies.

The Senate passed the bill 65-34, hours after Bush was on Capitol Hill urging Republicans to stay behind the high-profile measure ahead of November 7 elections that will determine control of Congress...

Osama Bin Laden has now sucessfully destroyed our Constsitution thus bringing to an end our nation's 200+ year history of unalienable rights and the rule of law.

Just click the link, and our Savior will be revealed.

"The sun lives in the heavens ... and moves out across the skies as radiant as a bridegroom going to his wedding, or as joyous as an athlete looking forward to a race! The sun crosses the heavens from end to end, and nothing can hide from its heat." Psalm 19: 4-6

...WRONG AGAIN!!!!

These descriptive observations, made by King David thousands of years ago, are still relevant (see Wrong) today as the sun continues its ancient, perceived migration, marking the progress in Earth's annual journey...

MUNICH, Germany — Germany's Oktoberfest beer festival opened in Munich on Saturday, an 18-day drinking spree expected to draw six million visitors.

The city's mayor, Christian Ude, declared the festival open after driving a tap into the first barrel with three blows from a wooden hammer.

A London, Ontario fair has an annual chubby bunny contest. Contestants repeatedly stuff a marshmellow in their mouth then say "chubby bunny." They continue to add marshmellows until they can no longer say the phrase. The point is to amuse the audience, a tidbit that goes a long way toward explaining Canadian culture. Guys, you really need to get out more. Last week, Janet Rudd participated in the chubby bunny contest. With a mouthful of marshmellows, she walked off stage then collapsed and died. The audience shrugged then moved over to the How Many Red Habanero Peppers Can You Shove Up Your Ass booth.

Sweet Jesus, who isn't Hitler these days? Thus far, President Bush has compared Saddam Hussein, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Osama bin Laden to Hitler. The first had no industrial base, the second is beholden to a bunch of stinkin' clerics and the third lives in a god damn cave. Surely Hitler knows he's been insulted.

Andy Roddick took a few minutes to deny a romantic relationship with tennis hotty Maria Sharapova. He's apparently furious with rumors that linked him to the Russian beauty. "We're not dating," he said. "I've said it a million times already You know, we're friendly. We're in the same places. I think she's a great girl. You know, we'll talk. That's about it." In other words, she shot him down. That's okay, Andy, nobody at BDA is dating her either. And frankly were as upset as you with insinuations to the contrary....

A couple young men shred a closed-for-the-season waterpark on rollerblades.

Liberal blogosphere is upset with ABC. On September 10th and 11th, the network will air a film that blames Bill Clinton for the 9/11 attacks. In this dramatization, Slick Willie single-handedly pilots three out of four planes into American buildings. A fourth jet crashed in a Pennsylvania field. ABC never claimed he was completely competent. I haven't seen the film, but Rush Limbaugh reportedly loves it. We're told the preview buffet contained free egg sandwiches and a bowl of oxycontin...

Florida's favorite whacko addressed the faithful today. On the menu, a steady stream of red meat Christian politics. Said Harris, Separation of church and state is "a lie we have been told." It is "wrong because God is the one who chooses our rulers. If you're not electing Christians, then in essence you are going to legislate sin." Asked if her remarks might create backlash in Florida's substantial Jewish community, a Harris staffer asked, 'Why? They voted for Pat Buchanan in 2000, they'll pull Katy's lever in 2006.'

--
EDITOR'S NOTE: The staffer didn't really say that but you know that's what's she's thinking...

Apparently the Jets new running back compared his last coach to Adolf Hilter. I'm withholding judgement until it is determined whether or not Mike Nolan sent six million people to their deaths in concentration camps....

Osama and Whitney
Sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G

"AOL removed a list of the Web search inquiries of 658,000 unnamed users from a public Web site over the weekend, after bloggers complained that the information was so detailed and personal that it could compromise the users' privacy."
—New York Times, Aug. 8, 2006

click here for No. 16006693's search list

You guys know the shocker, right? "Two in the pink and one in the stink." Patrolling the internets, I found a site off Gawker that listed some of its favorite shockerisms. In my not so humble opinion, these were among the finest:
Two in the slit, one in the sh!t
Two in the goo, one in the poo
Two where she parts, one where she farts
And finally my favorite: Two in the beaver and one to check fever

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EDITOR'S NOTE: BDA is not responsible for any shockerisms that may appear in the comment section. This is, after all, a family site. I mean, we have a Children's section and everything.

A woman came home and found her housed cleaned. Nothing stolen, but everything looked tidier. She reported it to the police ... and they laughed at her [Continue]

Let's face it: Your life sucks. See the fun you're missing with the beautiful people who entered the club as you pled vainly with the bouncer to let you slide by...

An Associated Press-Ipsos poll conducted this week found the president's approval rating has dropped to 33 percent, matching his low in May. His handling of nearly every issue, from the Iraq war to foreign policy, contributed to the president's decline around the nation, even in the Republican-friendly South...

of course this poll was taken before the RED ALERT.

Lieberman: Islamists are more evil - or at least as evil - as Nazis. Definitely more dangerous than Commies.

Aug. 4, 2006 — A tiny little movie making fun of Al Gore, supposedly made by an amateur filmmaker, recently appeared on the popular Web site YouTube.com.

At first blush, the spoof seemed like a scrappy little homemade film poking fun at Gore and his anti-global warming crusade.

In the movie, Gore is seen boring an army of penguins with his lecture and blaming global warming for everything, including Lindsay Lohan's thinness.

But when the Wall Street Journal tried to find the guy who posted the film "Al Gore's Penguin Army" — listed on YouTube as a 29-year-old — they found the movie didn't come from an amateur working out of his basement.

The film actually came from a slick Republican public relations firm called DCI, which just happens to have oil giant Exxon as a client...

Imagine that.

I humped your Hummer.

The JETS lead the league in a unappreciated statistical category: Chris Bakers. While most teams don't have a single Chris Baker, the JETS have two...

• Mitt Romney refers to the Big Dig as a tar baby.
• Michele Malkin sees Muslim rage at work in Seattle. It turns out the shooter was a Christian.
• Beer and oysters don't mix.
• Boy George begins his community service.

Audit Finds U.S. Hid Cost of Iraq Projects

BAGHDAD, Iraq, July 29 — The State Department agency in charge of $1.4 billion in reconstruction money in Iraq used an accounting shell game to hide ballooning cost overruns on its projects there and knowingly withheld information on schedule delays from Congress, a federal audit released late Friday has found.

The agency hid construction overruns by listing them as overhead or administrative costs, according to the audit, written by the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction, an independent office that reports to Congress, the Pentagon and the State Department.

Is half the country on crack or what? According to a recent Harris Poll, 50% of all Americans think Iraq had WMD prior to the US invasion. Sixty-four percent think Saddam Hussein had "strong ties" to al Qaeda. Dumb fscks. There were no weapons of mass destruction. NONE. ZIP. ZILCH. ZIPPO. Osama bin Laden hated Hussein's guts. Iraq was on the al Qaeda shitlist. Jesus H. Christ. Why do I even bother?

Former N'Sync star Lance Bass came out and announced his gayness in this month's People Magazine. Believe it or not, some fans are shocked by this revelation. My only surprise stems from the fact that his former bandmates are still in the closet. -J.E.G.

Now that just about everyone who wants a digital music player has a digital music player, Microsoft announced it would enter the market. The company plans to compete for users who like music AND blue screens of death.

Playboy magazine now offers an Indonesian edition in the world's most populous Muslim nation. Islamic playboy is just like the decadent Western version without the nudity that compelled you to buy it before the rise of the Internets: Yes. That is the centerfold....

The folks over at Red State have boners from ear to ear. According to America's favorite rightards, we are now on the brink of World War III. DICK Cheney immediately applied for a sixth deferment. Rush Lardbaugh complained of another sore asshole. And Pappy Bush secured young Georgie a place in the Texas National Guard ... hey - wait a second.

Lieberman told Fox News that the calls for Rumsfeld's ouster are a distraction from the larger picture. "We're in the middle of a war - you wouldn't want to have the secretary of defense change unless there's really good reason for it and I don't see any good reason at this time," Lieberman said.

Incompetence doesn't bother Little Joe Lieberman as long as he gets a reach-around. "Now bend over."

Remember when the Nazis opened the Ark of the Covenant and everything went to hell? That's kind of what became of Iraq after the Bush invasion:

One international official told me of reports among his staff that a 15-year-old girl had been beheaded and a dog's head sewn on her body in its place; and of a young child who had had his hands drilled and bolted together before being killed.

Down in the polls, Republicans have reached for an ace in the hole: superficial acts of patriotism. Earlier this year, GOP leadership started a Values Summit with Joe Pitts [Crackpot/PA] as its weekly chair. What is the values agenda? John Boehner [Douchebag/OH] explains, "It is a collection of legislative initiatives that speak to the values many Americans hold dear. Freedom to display the American flag, freedom of religious expression, the right to keep and bear arms, respect for the sanctity of marriage, and the dignity of all human life." That's right. If you don't vote Republican, government is gonna seize your flag, your bible, your guns and your marriage license before it stomps on your two-year-old's head. Bush is right: something smells like sh!t.

The Smoking Gun has Limbaugh's flight manifest. He took 29 viagra pills and seven men to the the Dominican Republic. Hmmmmm

Americans may have another reason to worry about global warming: Apart from the rising seas and disappearing polar bears, climate change could also wipe out premium wine grape growing in Napa, Sonoma and Santa Barbara counties by the end of the century, according to a new study out today...

In an effort to broaden its international appeal, the NBA announced today that all future championships would be decided by a game of H-O-R-S-E.