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Tiger Time Lawn Care - Blog Day Afternoon
Posted by Jeff (Monday July 23 2007 @ 09:47PM EDT)
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As a good libtard, I think it's important to support women and minority owned businesses. So the next time the hedges need trimmed, I plan to call Tiger Time Lawn Care. They're hard working young ladies who painstakingly tend to your lawn. Oh, and they wear bikinis while they work or something. It's all about equal opportunity. Really it is ....
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By MattC (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 08:55AM EDT)
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First a sport that Northerners thinks just looks like a normal day in NE corridor traffic, now lawn care from ladies in bikinis. What will Southerners think of next?
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By Dyl (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 11:17AM EDT)
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Once again, someone with plenty of money to do so can't hire a driver:
Five days after being booked in connection with a May drunken driving charge, Lindsay Lohan was arrested early Tuesday morning on five charges -- including drunken driving and possession of a controlled substance, Santa Monica police told CNN.
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By MattC (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 12:04PM EDT)
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Let this be an open letter to LaLohan:
Dear Lindsay,
Look sweetheart, we need to hang out. I can be the older guy who knows how to take care of you. You can be the non-prudish and super-hot younger girl I can't find where I live. I'll take care of making sure neither of us gets arrested. You pay the bills. I won't judge you for your drinking and the marching powder - AS LONG AS YOU STOP GETTING ARRESTED. Trust me, darling, we can make this work where we can still party hard and you can start making good movies again.
Oh and I'm just as good looking and the same age as the Girls Gone Wild dude (although way less rich but why the hell should you care, you have all those Herbie dollars) but I'm also not nearly as pervy in a creepy "flash me for $100" sorta way.
Your mom will have to stay away though. She kinda freaks me out.
We'll call this relationship "manager and client". Yes, people will gossip about you sleeping with me and the drugs and booze, but there won't be police reports.
Love,
Matt
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By Greg (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 01:00PM EDT)
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"You are mom will have to stay away though..."
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By Gumby (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 01:05PM EDT)
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Women love desperation. I'm sure the Email starts to ring any second now
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By MattC (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 03:25PM EDT)
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Hello, mixed metaphor.
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By Greg (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 12:58PM EDT)
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The linked page has some pretty intensive flash junk going on. Be careful if you go there.
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By Dyl (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 01:23PM EDT)
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Her mom is creepy but not nearly as weird as that bloodsucking father of hers. No wonder she's wacked.
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By MattC (Tuesday July 24 2007 @ 03:25PM EDT)
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I disagree. Dad just wants a payday, so he can be paid to stay away. Mom is trying to resurrect a failed acting/showgirl/whatever career and wants to be in the spotlight.
Those would be some inlaws! On second thought, no piece of tail is worth it. Sorry LaLo...offer retracted.
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Enlighten me, Marge
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The most formidable weapon against errors of any kind is reason.
-- Thomas Paine
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We Did Our Job!
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