DICK Cheney naked! - Fat People Posted by Jeff (Thursday September 28 2006 @ 05:06PM EDT)

Oh, those crafty liberal elites over at the New York Times Company. Today they published a survey on rural internet access. Confined to 20th Century dialup access, a typical heartlander requires weeks - if not months - to locate Maria Sharapova naked. Now, I know what you're thinking, "BFD. Who cares if the people of Assfuck, Nebraska can't download the Gawker homepage? Their only Manhattan cultural concern is the status of their 9/11 Memorial - it's never to their liking." My thoughts exactly. But here's the the thing: The New York Times didn't illustrate rural internet latency from the Rhubarb Capital of the World. No sir. They illustrated the problem in rural Vermont. That's, like, where we go on vacation. What do you mean they don't have statewide, wireless high-speed internet connectivity??!! Somebody better do something about that in a hurry. Don't make me write an angry letter. Now that we've jumped the shark, it's ratings be damned here at BDA. Fsck George Bush fscking up the country. We want to talk about powdering our nuts. In preparation for athletic competition, no step is more important than a healthy application of baby powder on the balls. You can't perform at a high level if your boys aren't comfortable. Do you think Joe Namath could guarantee it with a nutsack clinging to his inner thigh? No chance. The Jets locker room floor was a series of footprints in a sea of white powder. We have a similar pattern on the bathroom floor. For some it's an eyesore. To me, it's the mark of a champion. Now if you'll excuse me it's Tennis Thursday and these things ain't gonna powder themselves...

< Maria Sharapova Naked! | There's Creepy... >

By Monz (Thursday September 28 2006 @ 06:21PM EDT)

Now that BDA has jumped the shark are we going to see a spin-off blog? Perhaps Jeffy loves Chachi, or Laverne and Jeffy....maybe even Mork and Jeffy...

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By Funkman (Friday September 29 2006 @ 07:29AM EDT) Now that we just had a second son, the spinoff will be "The Funkmans". Other alternative titles: Everybody love Funkman Blogday Afternoon: Funkman Edition The Funkman comedy Hour [ reply | parent ]

By Bush Lite (Friday September 29 2006 @ 09:34AM EDT) How 'bout Funkman 2: Electric Boogaloo. [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Friday September 29 2006 @ 08:04AM EDT)

Congressional page "freaked out" by an email exchange with a Republican congressman. Representative Mark Foley wanted pictures of the sixteen year old youth.

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By Bill (Friday September 29 2006 @ 04:33PM EDT) And now Foley's resigning [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Friday September 29 2006 @ 06:21PM EDT) Apparently there's more to come. Drudge has some tantalizing details: Maf54: Do I make you a little horny? Teen: A little. Maf54: Cool. A person could take this conversation snippet one of two ways. First, Maf54 could lurking for young boys. Second, well there's only one way you can read this: Mark Foley is trawling for teeny man-ass. [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Friday September 29 2006 @ 01:09PM EDT)

Oliver Stone complains that Bush set America back ten years. Wonkette deems that notion a desired outcome and not an admonishment: Dude, we wish Bush would set America back ten years 'cos 1996 was - like - totally awesome.

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By Jeff (Friday September 29 2006 @ 01:15PM EDT)

Wisconsin schoolboy turns fantasy into reality and shoots his principal several times with a gun.

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