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Iguales cagaron diverso país - American Empire
Posted by Jeff (Monday November 07 2005 @ 08:16PM EST)
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 Mister Bush just returned from South America where he discovered a rather surprising factoid: there are three more counties that hate his guts. At home his approval rating is just above the sum of registered Republicans and abroad people light shit on fire wherever he goes. Bush claims he is "a uniter, not a divider." Frankly, I didn't believe him until the entire town of Mar del Plata marched in demonstration. They seem to like his abstinence program. "Get out, Bush! Get out, Bush!" Hugo Chavez was "inspired" by the large protests and railed against his American counterpart. He vowed Venezuala would never be an American colony and that can only mean one thing. The White House can't keep a secret anymore.
 The Bush administration likes to talk tough, root-tootin' guns-a-shootin' cowboy tough. The President wears cowboy boots and one them thar cowboy hats. When Chavez bad-mouthed the President, there was little doubt he'd provoke a Bushian reaction. The stage was set for a showdown at noon just like Gary Cooper. As Chavez railed, Bush hiked his pants up and scurried onto Airforce One in order to launch a rebuttal ... hundreds of miles away in Brazil. With oil company profits at an all-time high and with his countrymen reeling at the pump, Bush blasted Chavez for his big-oil cronyism that has done little but enrich those close to the Chavez clan. Silly Chavez. Oil profits are for families who names start with "B."
 After Brazil, George Bush South America '05 headed north to Panama. I know that sounds crazy, but Panama is actually north of Brazil. It's probably north of other things but who the hell cares? Americans can identify Panama because we bombed it. This is how we learn geography. A Bush bombs a country and we look for it on the map. The George Bush who bombed Panama was actually this George Bush's father. I think the current Bush was face down in a pool of his own vomit at the time. The Panamanian visit was largely symbolic. The President wanted to make one little thing crystal clear: "You fsckers keep burning shit when I'm in town and you'll end up like the man who made my daddy mad. I swear to God! ... and I'm a Christian now so that means something!"
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By Spaniard (Tuesday November 08 2005 @ 08:26AM EST)
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Please don't use Babel Fish to translate "Same s*#t, different country". It took me 5 minutes to figure out what the hell the headline was supposed to mean.
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By OperaGuitarist (Tuesday November 08 2005 @ 09:35AM EST)
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It was even harder for those of us who don't speak Spanish....
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By Jeff (Tuesday November 08 2005 @ 10:29AM EST)
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I don't speak Spanish, but I know what it meant...
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Enlighten me, Marge
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The most formidable weapon against errors of any kind is reason.
-- Thomas Paine
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We Did Our Job!
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