If each Canadian is slightly more or less great than another Canadian, then somewhere there has to be the greatest Canadian. Over at the CBC which is what Canadians watch when they're not watching American television, they're pondering this very notion. The Canadian Broadcasting Company - my best guess for the initials "CBC" - asked its viewers to vote for the all-time greatest Canadian.

The winner was Tommy Douglas! ... Yeah, me neither. But I have heard of Don Cherry. He made the list. Don Cherry is the obnoxious dick from Hockey Night In Canada. Boy they must be hurting for greatness in Canada. Alexander Graham Bell came in at number nine. He was a great American who was born in Canada. If you ask me, he's number two right behind John Candy.