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Helping Dear Leader Make Policy Decisions - American Empire
Posted by Admiral B.D. Afternoon (Thursday November 04 2004 @ 07:11PM EST)
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 During the election campaign, the liberal establishment whined incessantly about the environment, deficit spending, social security and heath care. Sure there are concerns in each of these areas but they don't affect people of Faith. Our Dear Leader and his fify-nine million followers understand how to manage these problems. Liberals do not. They think the nation is plagued by public policy issues. Long before the economy is crippled by monstrous debt and the planet is wasted like Venus, the Lord will Rapture us up. We don't need a policy manager. We need a Christian man who will ensure we're called to Heaven on that blessed day.
If you owed a man fifty dollars but knew the Rapture was the day after tomorrow, would you pay him? Of course not. And neither will Our Dear Leader. Money spent to kill Islamic heathens now is quite worthless one day after the End of Time. The only one harmed is the lender. Why do you think Our Leader's government borrows so much money from China? The Lord's not Rapturing them up, Mister.
God-fearing Christian men tell their wives how to vote for they understand what this country needs. We don't require a man to manage government or write far-sighted foreign policy; we need a short-sighted Christian to manage Armageddon. If we play our cards correctly, then the government will be bankrupt, the environment will uninhabitable, every state will hate us and the final drop of oil will be tapped on the Day The Rapture Comes.
To help Our Leader manage the End Time, we offer this fine Christian site, Count Down to Armageddon. Sure, they had originally slated January 1, 2000 as the Big Day, but their Christian numbers crunchers have since revised the estimates. It's now set for an arbitrary time in the future.
No sane Leader relies exclusively on just one Earthly source of information. To further assist George W. Bush refine his End Time management, we offer the Rapture Index. They score world events and produce an indicator to "measure the type of activity that could act as a precursor to the rapture." Here is there scaling system:
Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 85 to 110: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 110 to 145: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 145: Fasten your seat belts
The current Index is 156. And Blue State liberals question our wisdom and judgement.
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By Secret Rapture (Monday January 09 2006 @ 08:22AM EST)
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My Inaugural Address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!
At: http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman/
eschatology,End Times,second coming,rapture,secret rapture,Second Resurrection,Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead,
End of days,Day of the Lord,Endtime,Judgment Day
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Enlighten me, Marge
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The most formidable weapon against errors of any kind is reason.
-- Thomas Paine
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We Did Our Job!
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