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Swifties - The War On...
Posted by Jeff (Monday August 23 2004 @ 08:41PM EDT)
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In order to demonstrate that George W. Bush's war record makes him better fit to serve as Commander-In-Chief, the Swift Boat Veterans For Long Standing Grudges have exhaustively researched his opponent's role in Vietnam. With conclusions drawn from collective experience and military documents they didn't bother to read, the group issued the following conclusions:
- As John Kerry pleasure boated around the Mekong Delta, George W. Bush gallantly defended Alabama airspace from Godless Vietnamese hoards.
- John Kerry showed no respect for God and Country when he tossed his medals away. George W. Bush demonstrated loyalty and refused to do the same.
- While John Kerry often ignored military paperwork, Dick Cheney dilligently filled out all the forms necessary for five draft deferments.
- While John Kerry's three Purple Hearts were each earned under dubious circumstances, George W. Bush continues to carry the metal shards he acquired in the National Guard dental clinic.
- While John Kerry was safely tucked in the barracks each night, George W. Bush was Missing In Action for almost a year. He was left for dead in the darkest wilds of Alabama, lost to his comrades on the night of which it was his turn to buy the beer.
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Enlighten me, Marge
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The most formidable weapon against errors of any kind is reason.
-- Thomas Paine
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We Did Our Job!
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