Everybody's A Stink'n' Soldier - General Posted by Jeff (Thursday April 08 2004 @ 12:04AM EDT)

Cable "news," talk radio and editorial pages are filled with little soldiers. They talk of war like a participant. "Who said that we should pull out our forces..." "We cannot pull out now..." "If we pull out..." And on and on. When I last checked, Rush Limbaugh was not based in Iraq. Hannity and colmes does not air live from Baghdad. Nobody shoots at political pundits - although I'd like to see that policy relaxed as far as Ann Coulter is concerned - so shut the fuck up! Rush Lardbaugh, you cannot pull out of Iraq because you are not in it. Put your little soldier suit back in the closet beside your OxyContin and your Hostess Ding-Dongs. Nobody even wants you. If Uncle Sam saw your fat ass coming, he'd close the recruitment center. The odds of you shitting your 48-waist khakis in combat is 1:1. The same goes for you, Sean Hannity. If you enlist, then you may use the first person plural subject case pronoun "we." Until then, put that little soldier suit back in the closet beside your Ken dolls. You don't even have the balls to partner with a worthy adversary. The odds that alan colmes still lives at home are 1:2. In fairness, there are many people who say "we should pull out..." If I was Fair and Balanced, then I'd rip them, too. Sorry. They lack necessary belligerence.

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By Jeff (Thursday April 08 2004 @ 07:25AM EDT)

UPDATE: After a failed year spent in search of Weapons of Mass Destruction, the United States has begun to persue Weapons of Minor Destruction. "We'll find those," Donald Rumsfeld said as he ordered the troops into Fallujah.

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By Jeff (Thursday April 08 2004 @ 08:14AM EDT)

THIS JUST IN: Although he's stationed in Washington and the conflict is fought in the Middle East, Rumsfeld calls the Iraqi uprising "a test of will."

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By Cher (Thursday April 08 2004 @ 08:32AM EDT)

Via Kevin Drum, I see that some conservatives are jumping off the Iraq is Swell bandwagon Growing GOP Dissent on Iraq "If we have two or three more weeks of this you are going to start to see Republican members of Congress who have never been critical of President Bush and the Iraq policy starting to get that way," said Charles Cook, editor of the nonpartisan Cook Political Report.

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By Jeff (Thursday April 08 2004 @ 11:27AM EDT)

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go To Iraq

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