Cometary Impact - Blog Day Afternoon Posted by Jeff (Tuesday March 23 2004 @ 07:12PM EST)

Rather than join a gym, my wife and I work out at home. Miss Ginger provides evidence to reinforce the merit of our decision in her story, Gym-iny Crickets. The trouble is we exercise right after work, right after the dog has been sprung from his lair (basement). As far as he's concerned, it's playtime. As a result, I've developed an aptitude for doing leg curls while yanking a rawhide chewy and throwing a bone between weight reps. Maybe some day those skills will be worth something. Limey is an English bulldog. He's eight years old but age hasn't dampered his love of games. Suzy Q makes fun of his games, but I always tell her, "Just because you don't understand the rules doesn't mean they're stupid." His favorite game is tug of war. People like to say, "Wouldn't it be cool if the dog could talk." No. It wouldn't be cool. Do you really need verbal communication to clarify the dog's intention? If my dog could talk, this is what he would say: "Pull the chewy. Pull the chewy. Pull the chewy. Ah come on, pull the chew-eee..." If dogs could talk, then they never would have made it into the cave back in the paleolithic. "Daddy, can I keep him?" [Pull the chewy. Pull the chewy. Pull the chewy.] "Get that animal outta here!" Recently my wife bought an exercise ball, a large inflatable orb on which you can do stomach crunches. Let me tell you, these things are great. After five sets of twenty, my abs are on fire. As an added bonus, this very large sphere has enabled me to introduce a new game into the dog's life. Limey loves games, but he doesn't like this one. I call it: COMETARY IMPACT!

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By Funkman (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 07:52AM EST)

Cat's do not like exercise balls either.

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By GeoGiant (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 08:37AM EST)

Funkman has a cat?! Please tell me you do not live alone....wife, girlfriend, life partner.

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By Funkman (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 09:45AM EST) 2 cats, wife, and a baby (in less than 1 month) No dogs. Dogs are nice, but too stinky. [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 09:51AM EST) Stinky???? Let me ask you something, where do your cats shit? My dog craps in the yard which is OUTSIDE the house. [ reply | parent ]

By Funkman (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 09:54AM EST) Yeah, they shit in a box inside. Good cat litter eliminates the smell. Worst case - its confined to one room for those who have extra-sensitive noses. Dogs OTOH - typcially carry an odor throughout the whole house. (Unless meticulously cleaned) [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 10:36AM EST) Cats violate my "No shitting in a box in the house" and "No walking through the house after you've just stood in a box of shit" policies. [ reply | parent ]

By Cher (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 12:03PM EST) Dog smell depends on the breed of dog and the frequency of cleaning of said dog. Hounds (bassets, beagles, etc.) smell worse than other breeds. Cats, bless them, have no smell, but the box does smell and perhaps only pig shit smells worse than cat pee. Keep after the box - problem solved. [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 10:57AM EST)

Blog Day Afternoon would like to thank an anonymous reader for the following links: Dick Clarke Is Telling the Truth Bush's catastrophic allergy to Clinton

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By Suzi H (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 12:53PM EST) The only Limey games I make fun of are the ones where he bites at his shadows and head butts my rod iron deck furniture. That's just kinda crazy to me and seems like it would be painful. I'm proud to say that I have a cat and a dog and neither one of them smell. Infact, my dog Chuck just had a shower with me this morning. I think he prefered it over a bath. [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Wednesday March 24 2004 @ 01:04PM EST) I always shower my dog. It's not so much what he prefers as it is what I prefer. It's easier to climb in the shower and wash yourself and the four-legged thing than it is to bathe him. [ reply | parent ]

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