Most of us know that President Bush needs serious help. Evangelical Christians are determined to help. A group from Scottsdale, Arizona have galvanized members of the Fundie Faithful. Their goal? Pray that the President stops fucking shit up. The Presidential Prayer Team realized this was no easy task. When you really fuck shit up like President Bush, a couple of prayers from Scottsdale isn't going to cut the mustard. From its humble beginnings as clever scheme to bilk contributions from dumbasses, the group set a goal of 2.8 million members. If just one percent of that crowd provides the Prayer Team with a recommended $50.00 dollar contribution, then President Bush will continue to fuck shit up, but Presidential Prayer Team, Inc. will rake in $1.4 million dollars.
Cynics will undoubtedly cry foul. Isn't prayer free? Why does Presidential Prayer Team, Inc. require contributions to finance an effort to ask people to pray for the president? Can't one person pray so that others will pray so that Bush stops fucking shit up?
It doesn't work that way. To galvanize 2.8 million people for in order to collect 28,000 fifty-dollar contributions, you need a website. You can build and host a website similar to this one for under $1000.00 a year. Of course, the Lord requires a professional look and feel. The Lord's prerogative mandates an approximate $15,000.00 set up fee. Add to that $1,384,000.00 in payroll overhead, and you have an organization that is desperately trying to make ends meet. Plus, it's not an Evangelical Christian organization if it doesn't ask for money.
What good is derived from bankrolling the salaries of Presidential Prayer Team, Inc. without trinkets and doo-dads to make one feel included? For people wont to broadcast their personal stupidity, Presidential Prayer Team, Inc. offers worthless junk for a modest donation. For a $15.00 contribution, patrons may recieve mouse pads similar to those offered by legitimate businesses as promotional gifts. For people who like six sugars in their coffee and $25.00 to flush down the toilet, they offer coffee mugs complete with cheesey patriotic Christian art.
These are nice items, but what if you really want to waste money? For you, there is "Inner Circle" membership (quotes by Presidential Prayer Team). For a $250.00 "donation" (quotes by me), you may recieve a small pewter disc mounted on a piece of wood. But that's not all! If you act now, "Inner Circle" membership includes several of the many worthless trinkets provided to less fortunate contributors at considerable mark-up. Anybody can be a dumbass, but only a chosen few can take it to the next level. The choice is yours.
