Come out Virginia, don't let me wait
You Catholic girls start much too late
Ah but sooner or later it comes down to fate
I might as well, will be the one

The state of Virginia was named for Elizabeth I, the Virgin Queen. The moniker was undoubtedly assigned to the song's heroine in order to denote her chaste qualities. She is Catholic. And Catholic girls fight nature too long as far as our protagonist is concerned. Submission, of course, is inevitable. The time has come for Virginia to reconsider that closed-door policy.

Well they showed you a statue and told you to pray
They built you a temple and locked you away
Ah but they never told you the price that you pay
For things that you might have done

Our hero considers Virginia's behavior the result of indoctrination. From his perspective, she is perhaps too trusting. They provided a prescription which Virginia dosed with little consideration for its ramifications. Alas, poor Virginia is still ill informed. They never told her about original sin. She was a sinner from the start.

Only the good die young
That's what I said
Only the good die young
Only the good die young

The Pragmatist presented musings on irony several days ago.

You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd
We ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud
We might be laughing a bit too loud
Ah but that never hurt no one

Virginia is confronted with a secular alternative to religious morality, natural law. As the protagonist notes, his behavior is acceptable, as it caused no harm. To not hurt others is our greatest responsibility, far greater than our commitment to help others.

So come on Virginia show me a sign
Send up a signal I'll throw you a line
That stained glass curtain you're hiding behind
Never lets in the sun

Despite promises of enlightenment, Virginia's view is obscured by an ever-present obstruction, the stained glass windows of her church. If she's ready, the protagonist will lead her into sunlight

Darlin' only the good die young
I tell you only the good die young
Only the good die young

You got a nice white dress
And a party on your confirmation
You've got a brand new soul
Mm and a cross of gold
But Virginia they didn't give you
Quite enough information
You didn't count on me
When you were counting on your rosary

A dress, a cross, a party, they were promised long ago, material rewards for course completion. The carrot was dangled at the end of a stick until her arms were long enough to reach. She has it now. Yet despite its value she's still unfulfilled. Yes Virginia, there is life outside of church.

And they say there's a heaven for those who will wait
Some say it's better but I say it ain't
I'd rather laugh with the sinners
Than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun

My favorite verse...

You know that only the good die young
I tell you only the good die young
Only the good die young

You said your mother told you
All I could give you was a reputation
Ah she never cared for me
But did she ever say a prayer for me?

Is there greater satisfaction to be had than the feeling one gets when he successfully employs religious rhetoric against a hypocrite?

Come out, come out, come out Virginia
Don't let me wait
You Catholic girls start much too late
Sooner or later it comes down to fate
I might as well, will be the one
You know that only the good die young
Tell you baby
You know that only the good die young

Virginia, this coy routine is getting old. Come to bed...