January 15, 2004 - Week In Review Posted by Jeff (Thursday January 15 2004 @ 11:49PM EST)

Four days removed from the Iowa caucus, Carol Moseley Braun dropped out of the race for the Democratic nomination. Braun immediately threw her support behind Democratic front-runner Howard Dean. The former senator abandoned the race while polling under the margin of error. Dean took time out of a busy campaign schedule to recieve statistically NO ADDITIONAL VOTES as a result of the endorsement. Like always, Dean was a pretty good sport. George W. Bush made headlines this week with several new initiatives. The President committed 1.5 billion dollars for marriage counseling, another billion to start a lunar colony, plus additional unspecified sums for religious-based charities. Meanwhile, across the street from the White House, the local Kwik-E-Mart suffered a computer malfunction which prevented credit card transactions from on Tuesday 3:08 to 3:59 am EST. This glitch meant that for almost an hour, Bush couldn't spend anymore money. The latest polling figures from Iowa show that support for Dean, Gephardt, Kerry and Edwards each falls within the margin of error. With all four candidates in a statistical tie, Iowa voters have already spoken loud and clear: "Do you have any other candidates? These guys suck!" President Bush went to Atlanta on Thursday in a shameless attempt to court minority votes order pay tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. on the occasion of his birthday. Protestors Well-wishers gathered to hurl obsenities at show support for the bastard President.

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