Howard Dean is angry. He is mad at President Cheney and his administration. Most commentators consider that anger a liability. It's more likely an assett. I mean, if you're not angry, then you're not paying attention. The problem with Dean is not his anger. The problem is his smile. The guy looks like he's trying to pinch off a turd which just doesn't want to come out. Many people are still bitter about the election in November 2000. The Cheney administration acts as though it was handed a mandate. That arrogance still upsets some people. To them, Dean probably isn't angry enough.
John Kerry is angry. He is mad at Howard Dean. His candidacy is based drawing public attention to Howard Dean's off-the-cuff remarks. "When you were asked by The Concord Monitor about Osama bin Laden, you said you couldn't prejudge his guilt for September 11th" Kerry scolded the former Vermont Governor. "What in the world were you thinking?" Well, said Dean, "as an American, I want to see Osama bin Laden get what he deserves, which is the death penalty, but I was asked that question as a candidate for president of the United States. And a candidate for president of the United States is obligated to stand for the rule of law." Kerry huffed and stepped on an ant seen walking across the stage. Having spent what was left of his meager campaign finances for the opportunity to shoot that "zinger" Kerry called his wife to see if she had another house to mortgage.
John Edwards is angry. You can't tell because he looks so young. But if you saw the 60 Minutes interview with the Senator from North Carolina, then you know he's actually 102 years old. But let's face it. Edwards' sagging numbers have nothing to do with his youthful appearance. It's the God damn mole on his mouth. There! Somebody had to say it. If Al Roker can have his gluttonous behavior surgically removed, then I like to think somebody can rip that thing off. Hey... Dr. Dean. It's a little known fact that "Dr." actually stands for "doctor." They perform surgery. Dean could nip and tuck that lip and PRESTO!--a Vice-Presidential candidate is born.
Dennis Kucinich was angry. He has since accepted the fact that dwarves think he's short. But if he were a svelte six feet tall, then he still wouldn't stand a chance. The United States is not ready for a president named "Kucinich." With two strikes against him, the former mayor of Cleveland pushes on. Instead of actually running for president, he's decided to run vicariously through Howard Dean. Kucinich is a true believer and he holds several ideas dear to his heart: The war in Iraq was wrong; WTO and NAFTA both suck. With sagging numbers in every poll, Kucinich has initiated an attempt to proxy his campaign agenda through Howard Dean. "Dr. Dean, are you willing to say right here and now that you'll pull out of Iraq?" No. "Dr. Dean, will you say right now that you'll abolish NAFTA and the WTO?" No. Hey, nobody said the ploy would work. It's a little known fact that the Kucinich campaign is actually financed by cookie bakers who reside in little trees.
Richard Gephardt is angry. He is mad that Bill Clinton nailed Monica rather than himself. With Gephardt's head so far up the former President's butt, you'd think Slick Willie would at least give him a reach-around. Yeah, right. If Slick Willie is going to give a reach-around, then he'll give it to his own damn self....
Carol Moseley Braun was there, too.
Wesley Clark and Al Sharpton were not.
Joe Lieberman is angry. He is mad that his campaign has been greeted by public indifference. At one point, Lieberman did make a terrific point about something then Howard Dean started to talk and ... um ... well ... Lieberman probably impressed the Ft. Lauderdale Jewish community who could not actually attend the debate in Iowa. They've been practicing de-hanging chads and such. So um ... did I mention that Dean said something?
