December 19, 2003 - Week In Review Posted by Jeff (Thursday December 18 2003 @ 11:42PM EST)

After months of effort, the United States finally caught the man not responsible for September 11th. Moments after Paul Bremer announced "We got him!" Iraqi Information Minister, Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, released this statement: "No you don't! He's right here with me. How can they say that? This is another example of American deceit. Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies!" What is black and comes in little white cans? Well if you believe the Santa Barbara County Sherriff's Department, it's Michael Jackson. The King of Pop was formally charged with child molestation this week. In an effort to placate an upset public who never saw this coming, Jackson opened a website in order to plead his case: As you know, the charges recently directed at me are terribly serious. They are, however, predicated on a big lie. This will be shown in court, and we will be able to put this horrible time behind us. And in cases where the message failed, Jackson resorted to bribery: After a week of intense meditation, I've concluded that some chicks should not wear thongs.... (Is it just me or is that picnic table leaning to one end?) President Bush appeared on ABC for a softball interview with Diane Sawyer this week. Blog Day Afternoon has acquired the complete transcript including footage in which Bush asked her to stop the cameras: Diane Sawyer: So you found Saddam Hussein in a spider hole. President Bush: Yes that's right. He was cowering like a little girl down in a hole. Hold on, Diane. Can we pause for just one second? Diane Sawyer: Sure. President Bush: Good God, my ass itches. [scratches] Okay that's better. Continue... Diane Sawyer: You found Saddam Hussein... President Bush: ...yes, in my ass. Diane Sawyer: No, in a hole. You found him in a hole. President Bush: In hole? Diane Sawyer: Yes, a hole, not in your ass. He was in a hole. President Bush: What's the difference? The Cheney Family distributed Christmas cards to the Faithful this week. At left is the copy that Cher and I recieved. You have to hand it to Dick Cheney. Few people can so eloquately combine the messages of Peace on Earth and global imperial domination. In a driving snow storm the New York Jets needed a sled. They turned to Curtis "My Favorite" Martin who went through the snow like a Flexible Flyer. Martin took on the elements and the Steelers and racked up 174 yards on the ground. With that performance, he passed John Riggins and moved into 11th place for total rushing yards. He eclipsed 1000 yards for the ninth straight season which pushed him into second place in that category.

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By Anonymous (Friday December 19 2003 @ 01:06PM EST)

For more on Dick Cheney and the "E" word, check out this Slate article.

[ reply | parent ]

By The Real Realist (Friday December 19 2003 @ 01:41PM EST) Too bad Cheney didn't say Socialist Republic instead of Empire - then you people would be tripping all over yourselves to support him!! [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Friday December 19 2003 @ 02:24PM EST) You would think a realist would verify a claim before he made it... [ reply | parent ]

By The Real Realist (Friday December 19 2003 @ 02:51PM EST) Please... The residents of the Peoples Republic of Blogdayafternoon are just waiting for the revolution!!! Too bad they forged their guns into Birkenstocks and now they have nothing to bring to the battle... 0-: [ reply | parent ]

By Cher (Friday December 19 2003 @ 03:54PM EST) Alas...tis’ true. We don’t bow to dear leader and don’t fear the patriot police, but then again, "we" are a diverse group with you know...opinions and stuff. Some have Birks, some without, and to my knowledge, no one owns a Volvo. [ reply | parent ]

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