Most people share office space with at least one asshole. (Mine was named Al) Conversely, prison guards share space with child molestors, rapists, murderers and Enron executives. Arrested psychological development is what led to their criminal arrests. Guards play baby sitter to what is essentially a large group of dangerous twelve year olds. A Department of Justice study recently concluded that job-related stress was widespread among corrections officers. No shit!--really? In this commentator's opinon, prison officials should do whatever is necessary to alleviate tensions. If that means color TV, a weight room and anal sex for prisoners, so be it. Thanks and keep up the good work.

News Analysis: Religion is just one social boundary across which the Arab-Israeli conflict is divided. The Arabs are Islamic while the Israelis like a good bargain. It seems likely that we could reduce potential antagonisms by converting them all to Christianity. What the hell? They already worship the same imaginary God. Instead of facing Mecca or smashing wine glasses, we could sprinkle them both with chicken blood and send them joyfully on their way....

Michael Jackson made the news this week because ... well ... because fondling a fourteen year-old boy is a sure-fire way to grab media attention, dumbass!! Last night, Jackson agreed to turn himself into Santa Barbara County authorities who issued a warrent for his arrest. In a completely unrelated story, two parents remain upset with the Bronx Zoo after they allowed their child to play in a lion's cage and the baby was eaten by the fucking lion, dumbasses!