One of the many items logged by a webserver is the referer, a link to the requested page. If you perform an internet search and click one of the results, then the search you performed is logged on the webserver you requested. Search terms are embedded in the referer string. Here's an example of a google search logged on my webserver:
http://www.google.com/search?q=gay+%22ron+popeil%22&start=10
The search terms are located after "q=" in this URL. This googler wanted to know more about Ron Popeil's sex life. To the point, it seems, the reader wanted to know if Ron Popeil was a flaming homosexual. Unfortunately, we've never mentioned the team he bats for. Here's the snippet the query matched:
Where Have You Gone, Mr. Microphone?
The nation's zitty boys turned to you. (Ooo ooo ooo)
What's that you say, Ronco's Ron Popeil?
It was meant to make us all turn gay (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I love examining query strings. Why? Basically I'm nosy. I need to know what's going on everywhere and this website is no exception. In order to simplify the process of snooping at query strings, I've parsed them on this webpage.
Wallah! One-click Buttinsky.
The single most popular search engine query to deposit readers on this site is related to Ronco's Ron Popeil. In April, I wrote a piece entitled, Where Have You Gone, Mr. Microphone?. It touches on my annoyance for "tricked-out" Honda Civics. Several readers landed on it in a quest for information about rotisserie ovens. Most seem to wax nostalgic for the 1970s. Hopefully, this filled a void. It is the most frequently mailed URL on this website.
In March I wrote a piece entitled, Hey, Mister Limp Dick! It referred to a demented nick-name for the ice-cream vendor, Mister Softy. For some reason, people actually want to know about limp dicks. One query requested the Limp+Dick+FAQ while another wanted a limp+dick+blog. Maybe I'm missing something, but you'd think if one had interest in dicks -- especially at the hour these queries were issued -- then the inquirer would want to view them at full mast.
Another popular query is this: "Rush+Limbaugh+is+an+asshole." Lardbaugh has done wonders for this site in terms of google hits. Since I wrote a couple ad hominem attacks on Mr. Oxycontin last month, he's referred 99 googlers to Blog Day Afternoon. My personal favorite: "die+rush+limbaugh+you+fat+old+asshole" It's a good thing law enforcement didn't take his advise with regard to drug violators. His man-cans would be a popular prison commodity.
Speaking of cans, Cher wrote an article entitled, Killing Me Softly For Big Tits. In it, she described a study that correllated breast implants with suicidal tendencies. Believe it or not, "big tits" generates a lot of interest on the internet. One of my favorite queries was generated by a Canadan: "Remembrance+Day+big+tits." Nothing like a big set of cans to remember those who fell in Flanders. For tit men, this site does offer some reward. We're linked to Rate My Boobies. I'm not a tit man but I love this site. I can rate boobies all day long. "You call those nice tits? No way! That's a two. Oh my god, look at those..."
And so it goes.
