April 25, 2003 - Week In Review Posted by Jeff (Thursday April 24 2003 @ 09:09PM EDT)

The Spank Me's The New York Yankees turned 100 years old on Tuesday. The Bronx Bombers celebrated with a drumming of the Anaheim Angels (Yeah, I've never heard of them, either). My baseball knowledge is limited to whatever I can learn to cheese-off Mark, but it seems impressive that the Spank Me's lead the league in the following statistical categories: Home Runs 40 Home Runs Allowed 5 Walks 98 Walks Allowed 50 Batting Average .300 Slugging Average .542 On Base Average .388 Total Bases 387 Earned Run Average 2.54 Starting Pitchers' Win. Pct 1.000 ...and somehow it really impressed me, it's written all over my face... Biology Professor Michael Dini in 1925, the last time he was a pain in the ass. Scopes On A Rope The Bush Adminstration has decided to drop its harrassment charges against John T. Scopes, aka, Michael Dini. Scopes drew the wrath of the Bush Administration for failure to provide a recommendation for any student who failed to grasp his biology course. As a requirement for recommendation, the radical professor demanded an answer to the question, "How do you account for the scientific origin of the human species?" Any student who answered with a creation myth was given thorazine and sent to the nurse's office. Click HERE for AFP coverage of this story. Bungle In The Jungle On Saturday, the NFL holds its annual College Draft but that didn't stop the Bengals from fucking up early. According to the Associated Press, Cincinnati already have Carson Palmer under contract by virtue of their possession of the first overall pick. A strong finish to an otherwise mediocre collegiate career has earned Palmer a place in Cinncinati quarterback lore. 1992 Bust 1999 Bust Saturday's Bust? By virtue of president Bush's campaign of shock and awe, Iraqis have been granted Western assimilation. For members of that waryward country, this means McJobs, carbonated high fructose corn syrup drinks and a celebration of National TV TURNOFF WEEK. Iraqis turned out in droves this week in a collective effort to not watch TV. Instead of wasting time with attempts to generate power for their idiot boxes, Iraqis were engaged in wholesome family activity. Iraqis take their TV Turnoff Week seriously. This little boy was caught with a power cord running into his closet.

< To A Bush | Easter Seals >

By Mark (Friday April 25 2003 @ 09:56AM EDT)

Screw Rick Santorum! The guy has always tried to kiss religious conservative ass. Consensual sex between adults should not be the concern of a govermental body. If you do agree - screw you too. I pay my damn taxes, get the fuck out of my bedroom!

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By krazy (Friday April 25 2003 @ 10:13AM EDT)

The Bungles could pick any player (and they have) and that player will become bust. The organization has screwed up everting since the late 80's!

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By Mailer (Friday April 25 2003 @ 10:21AM EDT)

Don't worry Mark. As long as you and Jeff keep it quiet no one will know.

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By Jeff (Friday April 25 2003 @ 12:58PM EDT) Unfortunately for Mark, I've made a conscious decision to be hetersexual.... [ reply | parent ]

By krazy (Friday April 25 2003 @ 12:51PM EDT)

The JETS have trade for the Bears #4 pick! Now what are they gonna do? Well at least they will only have to pay one first rounder. I guess that is CAP strategy!

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By Jeff (Friday April 25 2003 @ 01:00PM EDT) I see a STUD defensive tackle in their near future... [ reply | parent ]

By krazy (Friday April 25 2003 @ 01:03PM EDT)

Will they be able to sign Him? Will the JEtnicks cheer or BOO?

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By Jeff (Friday April 25 2003 @ 01:16PM EDT) The JETnicks will boo long and hard because that's what they do. It will be a lot easier to sign one first rounder than two. I think it was a good move as long as they take a defensive tackle. (You can't let that Ricky Williams guy get too uppidy) [ reply | parent ]

By Jeff (Friday April 25 2003 @ 01:29PM EDT)

The Bush Administration pretty much admits it lied about its reasons for going to war: Reason for War? White House Officials Say Privately the Sept. 11 Attacks Changed Everything

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