On Monday, US forces secured Saddam Hussein Airport. It had already been renamed it Baghdad International after a period of intense combat. Fierce fighting left 320 Iraqi republican guard men dead while another 2500 removed their army guy clothes and surrendered. Minutes after hostilities ceased, the first Starbucks was open for business. A fight broke out in line when one Iraqi shouted, "Yes, I did order sprinkles with that!" Like Funkman says, "Heh, the Iraqis like ghey coffee, too."

With United States efforts focused on the destruction of the Hussein government, North Korea managed to work itself back into the news this week. First they were sued by Texaco for stealing that company's logo. Then they were shocked and awed by their adversary's military success in Iraq. Drawing parallels with the U.S. showdown with Saddam Hussein, North Korea said that bowing to demands to abandon its suspected nuclear weapons development would lead to inspections and disarmament, setting the stage for a U.S. invasion.

Ah. the smell of fresh cut grass and the crack of a bat. Baseball is back. Major League Baseball recently kicked of its 2003 season. Since I never got the memo, I'm not sure when it actually started. But now you know. From this moment until a really long time from now, you've got a sure-fire cure for insomnia. Turn on some basebore, kick back and sleep.

This is -- believe it or not -- considered one of the more exciting moments in a baseball game.

Pat Leahy, the long time New York Jets place kicker performed for that team until he was well into his forties. When asked about his longetivity, Leahy liked to quip, "Most people assume the first thing that goes on an athlete is his legs. That's not true by a long shot. It's the hair." Andre Agassi is another hairless wonder. He's about to turn 33 this month which is older than old in tennis. Yet he's the number one player in the world this week. Agassi is 18-1 already this year with one grand slam already under his belt. Coming off his sixth Key Biscayne title, Agassi enters the clay court season in peak form.

Make no mistake about it, the major networks view Micheal Jackson the ultimate train wreck. And they know, if there is a train wreck, you're going to watch it. As Fox Network has been the most sympathetic to Wacko Jacko, they have been granted "unprecedented access to thousands of hours of never before seen footage revealing his real life, family and friends." Fox plans to air portions of this collection on April 24.

Here's Michael grabbing his crotch in the front of the house. Here's Michael grabbing his crotch at the side of the house. In this one, Michael is grabbing his crotch at the side of the house, but you can still see a portion of the front of the house...