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The People I've Seen & the Places I've Peed - Recommendations
Posted by Jeff (Sunday March 16 2003 @ 03:49PM EST)
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In the Links section on Blog Day Afternoon, you'll find an entry for Urinel Dot Net which bills itself as "the best place to piss away your time on the Internet®." It is yet another website dedicated to an esoteric aspect of contemporary human affairs, the urinal. In their own words, Urinel Dot Net is the "leading gallery of urinal photos and directory of online urinal-related resources on the internet today." The site has indeed compiled a pretty extensive database of urinal pictures from around the globe.
For United States urinators, its finest feature is the interactive map of that country. They've plotted urinal entries across the lower 48 states on a map which allows you to channel down to state level in order to find specific urinals.
That is exactly what I did. The map allowed me to build a list of all the published places in which I've urinated. So in the interest of esoterica I've included that list complete with commentary.
San Diego International Airport, San Diego, CA
I urinated in this airport on three different occasions last year. The lack of automated spickets in the sinks detracted from the experience.
Pacific Beach, San Diego, CA
I used this facility last fall during my morning jog. Although the reviewed website is highly recommended, these urinals are NOT. [shudders]
San Jose International Airport, San Jose, CA
We had a lot of sake and beer before boarding a red-eye for the East Coast. I deposited part of mine here. After a transfer in Las Vegas, I found myself wedged between Warren Sapp's big ugly sisters whose girth made it impossible to for me to sleep.
Las Vegas McCaran International Airport, Las Vegas, NV
After a urination I won 50.00 dollars in a slot machine, 10 of which I personally deposited. I declared myself a winner and stuffed all those quarters in my suitcase. My co-worker, Bryan, lost money but then he didn't have to fly between Warren Sapp's two big sisters. (see above).
Bally's Casino & Hotel, Las Vegas, NV
I stayed here in 1996, the year the Jets went 1-15. We spent two nights in Las Vegas before traveling to Phoenix for the Jets only victory of that season.
O'Hare International Airport, Chicago, IL
Funkman and I were here last summer. I mentioned that people seemed fatter than usual. Funkman shrugged like he always does. Later that year a list of America's fattest cities was published. Chicago was number two.
Pittsburgh International Airport, Pittsburgh, PA
I peed here on a layover to Miami when I traveled to Key West to marry my wife. (No, she doesn't use a urinals.)
Primanti Bros., Pittsburgh, PA
Their urinal doesn't stand out as exceptionally good or bad, but Primanti Bros. is highly recommended.
PA Farm Show, Harrisburg, PA
I saw Green Day here on their Dookie tour. The Farm Show complex doesn't serve beer so we had ours in the Parking Lot.
Philadelphia International Airport, Philadelphia, PA
I've only flown in and out of Philadelphia once. I prefer BWI for all my departure urinations.
New York City Subway System, New York, NY
...and I recieved a ticket for it. The cost was 40.00 dollars. Avoiding a pee spot on the front of my slacks? Priceless.
John F. Kennedy International Airport, Queens, NY
I've never flew out of JFK, but I did make a deposit when I picked up a friend. You were allowed to wait in the terminal without a ticket then. But that was before the bad guys won the War Against Terrorism.
CBGB, New York, NY
I don't know what you've heard about the bathrooms at CBGB, but trust me, those stories are true.
LaGuardia International Airport, Queens, NY
I used LaGuardia twice, but neither experience really stands out with regard to urination.
Mariott Marquis, New York, NY
My wife and I have stayed here twice. And my friend Mark and I once crashed here after a Jets - Ravens game. (the Jets spanked 'em) It's a fantastic hotel, but I prefer the East Side.
Pennsylvania Station, New York, NY
I lived in Manhattan after college and I used to take the train to visit friends and family. A visit to the Penn Station urinals was part of every pre-boarding vitual.
Central Park, New York, NY
If you're in Manhattan and you really need to pee, the odds are good that you can find a Port-a-John (or a tree) in Central Park.
McSorley's Old Ale House, New York, NY
I love McSorley's. Their beer selection is tremendous. When they added "dark" they doubled the total. (Actually "dark" is just "light" with a brown syrup in it.) This bar offers a large marble structure in which you can deposit spent beer. I took Mark here before the Jets - Ravens contest and at one point, he was ready to blow off the game....
Amherst Brewing Company, Amherst, MA
I am a sucker for brew pubs and I was able to pee in this one soon after it opened. My Octoberfest careened nicely down the shiney new porcelein urinals.
B-Side Lounge
My company used to rely on BEA's Weblogic [sucks] to serve its website. They sent me to Concord for training. One night I went to Cambridge with several of the other trainees. We started the evening at an excellent raw bar then we went out on the town for drinks. B-Side was one of the places we hit. That night was the only part of Weblogic training that I enjoyed.
Newark International Airport, Newark, NJ
My sister is a Jets fan but she lives in Atlanta. She came up for the 1999 season opener. Coming off the AFC Championship the year before, the Jets were favored to go to the Superbowl that year. But in the first game of the season, Vinny Testaverde went down with a ruptured achilles tendon. Same old Jets. We dropped my sister off at Newark International after the game. And I made Ben double-park so that I could "run in and pee."
Baltimore/Washington International Airport, MD
This is the home of my preferred pre-boarding urinals.
United States Botanic Garden, Washington, DC
My parents drug me here when I was very young. I assume a urination occured over the course of the day.
National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC
For a good urination and a chance to view treasured works or art, I highly recommend the National Gallery. The last time we were there, Tom spotted a Unabomber victim. I "subtly" strode up for a closer gawk.
Smithsonian Air & Space Museum, Washington, DC
When we were young, Monz hocked a big aggy on the glass window of the restaraunt there. No, I don't know what he was thinking...
Vanderbilt University, Nashville, TN
I actually peed at the stadium and not in one of the featured urinals. This was in 1998 during the Jets - Titans game. Our hotel was right beside Vanderbilt Stadium, but we drove a mile away just to tailgate. As game time approached, we got in our car and drove back to the hotel. We scaled a small guard rail and we were at the game. The Jets kicked Titan ass that day.
Atlanta International Airport, Atlanta, GA
I flew to Atlanta for the Jets - Falcons game and some Atlanta fans offered me bald peanuts in the parking lot. (I didn't know they had hair.) "oh, boiled peanuts."
Pro Player Stadium, Miami, FL
The last time I peed in this stadium the Dophin fans all left early to the sounds of JAY-EE-TEE-ESS JETS, JETS, JETS! We had beers in the parking lot with Fireman Ed. It was a good day for me and an even better day for the New York Jets....
Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville, Key West, FL
I don't know if there is a bar in Key West that I haven't peed in.
Half Shell Raw Bar, Key West, FL
See above.
Public Restrooms of Miami Beach, Miami, FL
Truth be known, I actually peed in the ocean, not in the bathrooms. Oh, don't look at me and claim that you've never done that...
Miami International Airport, Miami, FL
Given that the Jets have beaten Miami nine out of the last ten encounters, my urinations at Miami International have usually been made sweeter by the thrill of victory.
Dallas / Fort Worth Regional Airport, Irving, TX
Just passing through...
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Enlighten me, Marge
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The most formidable weapon against errors of any kind is reason.
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