Introducing Muslim Up and Arab Soda, two great tastes for the discriminating Islamic palate. If you thought those shade-grown coffee enthusiasts were a self-righteous pain in the ass, consider the people for whom Muslim-Up is marketed. Their soft drink is "is the fruit of this new dash of conscience vis-a-vis all the injustices which the world knows." This is soft drink with a purpose. "Muslim UP must restore the truth with regard to demagogic, commercial information and even disinformation of the social, political, economic isms."^‡ And you thought soft drink was a caffeine delivery system for non-coffee drinkers.

Arab Cola is a competing product. Its got all the sugar and even less information on its web site. But I wouldn't deserve standing in the ranks of nerds if I couldn't provide you with more information. According to the French paper, Liberation, a certain Gerard le Plain plans to distribute 2.5 million cans of Arab Soda a month. He also appears to register web sites under the alias Gerard le Blanc. Of course the Liberation reporter may have botched the spelling. If you care about this discrepancy or for further clarification, feel free to call le Plain A.K.A. le Blanc at home in Nice: +33 4 92 94 33 90.

Experience and cynicism have conspired to make us expect ironic promotions from our soft drink companies. Coca-Cola sponsors programs devoted to the promotion of "healthy active lifestyles." Pepsi sponsors competitive athletics and memberships into community. Not to be left out, Muslim Up offers its video documentary, "Palestine Story." Juji Fruit, Muslim Up, Freedom fighters and you.

‡ All translations provided by Google. I don't pretend to speak French, I speak "Freedom."





This column is brought to you by the Letter Z and Funkman's favorite soda: