Matt claims the greatness of the internet stems from its ability to settle arguments in short order. What flame war doesn't end in a flash of attached website links? And although I've fired my share of URLs in Matt's direction on numerous occasions, I still consider the internet's greatest attribute its proliferation of quirky little sites about esoteric minutiae. Mullets Galore is king of the genre.

mullet* (mu' lit) 1. any of a family of edible, spiny-rayed fishes found in fresh and salt waters and having a small mouth and feeble teeth, as the striped (or gray) mullet. 2. any haircut which the sides and top of the hair are cut significantly shorter than the back.

Mullets Galore is concerned with definition number two. Their research department has discovered ninety-eight different classifications of the genus from classic-mullet to the silverback. And they've preserved these specimens for posterity thanks to the magic of digital imagery.

While Matt was out with my wife and I, we spotted a mullet with full plumage. Our excitement rose as we considered the possibility that we may have stumbled upon a new classification. We consulted the source, the Mullets Galore classification data. To our dismay, this mullet had been classified for quite some time. It was a quintessential business mullet, a section I, category 4. Old news, but the scientific community could use another specimen. We vowed to return to the scene of the mulletude and capture this mullet on film.

Some initial preparation was necessary. We had to determine the traits of the business mullet from the safety of a lab in order to best prepare ourselves for the uncertainty of the wild. Its mulletude was fairly average, five on a scale to ten. But what encouraged us most was the agressiveness rating, a mere three out of ten. The team breathed a collective sigh. Mullets Galore is filled with testimonials of mullets gone wild. Not every mullet is this docile.

We returned to the bar on the same night of the week on the following Tuesday. We based this decision on the established profile of the subject. As they try to straddle two worlds, it was a safe bet the environment in which we spotted it, in a bar in the middle of the week, was its permanent Tuesday night home. Our hunch paid off and we captured it on film...

businessmullet: These mullets want it all, business in the front, party in the back. A fabulously perfect example of the classification. This mullet was so engaged in the party aspect of its dual nature, that we had difficulty capturing solid footage on film.
Mulletude: 5 Agressiveness: 3

Unfortunately our specimen was rejected in no small part, I'm sure, due to poor quality of the film composition. The damn mullet wouldn't sit still. We were not priviledged to see the business side of its dual nature.

Mullets Galore contains 98 other classifications with sample specimens similar to this one. And no scientific study of a species would be complete without documented mating rituals. Mullet mating is not for the faint of heart. Consequently, these images are hidden from the casual observer. To view these rituals, click on MOTW at the top left. Then click on the "O" in "MULLET OF THE WEEK"

But alas even the World's Greatest Website is not complete as an email message from Tom demonstrates: